Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
