She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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