The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
