Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
