My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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