Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
