My room smells like vodka and shame
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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