Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
