Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
