no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
