I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
