There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
