Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
