the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
