Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
