i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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