You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
