stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
