No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
