at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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