sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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