we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
