yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
