currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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