I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ugly people sure do ruin things
bring money and cleavage
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
