Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
