With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
