barbara walters just said penis...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
