i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
