the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
