Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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