Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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