just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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