It's Friday. Sex?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
