This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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