Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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