Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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