therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
