Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
