You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
