i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's never too late to be topless.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
