I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
