Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
