Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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