i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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