Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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