guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
