So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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