I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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