So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
