Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
