dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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