He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
